tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11039113.post2678920977317554239..comments2023-05-27T03:20:47.197-06:00Comments on Tales From the Fish: Don't Give Someone a Chance, Push Them AwayMr. C.C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/18145537941261182648noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11039113.post-23259920042306206912015-01-27T15:41:14.917-06:002015-01-27T15:41:14.917-06:00I'm not sure I agree entirely with the article...I'm not sure I agree entirely with the article, and from examining her other articles on that site I'm convinced she has serious unresolved issues with her mother that filter her perception of other relationships in a not so healthy way. That said, yes, it's a generalization about millenials that we are flaky (perhaps an unfair one at times). Social media acts as an enabler for that behaviour and we have yet to own up to it and better discipline ourselves (discipline, what an ugly word to tell a millenial). I have suffered as a result of flaky relationships, and I too have been flaky to others and ditched a potential relationship last minute because I had a bad feeling about it. <br /><br />But I think instead of condemning people for ending relationships prematurely and leaving another person seriously hurt it's probably better to teach people some old fashioned advice: wait, be patient, be cautious, guard yourself, don't get overly attached to another person. Social media has enabled to tendency to be impatient which gives instant gratification with the swipe of a touch-screen. I know, it sounds like cheesy Christian dating advice to wait but I've learned the hard way that it's probably better to err on the side of caution and don't lead a person on or get too attached to another person. I get that when all your friends are dating the pressure can get to you, but I just tell myself to not buy into the idea that I have to be like everyone else. And if my friends did pressure me into dating I got two words to share with them: fuck off. <br /><br />Also, while ditching a relationship prematurely sucks, it's much better than getting into a relationship that one person never wanted. That's where I think the article is ridiculous: it assumes that if a person just gets over their petty worries and flakiness and just commits they'll eventually enjoy the relationship. That might be true in some cases, but not all. I think that is what millenial flakiness is a reaction to: high divorce rates and seeing their parent's marriages grow bitter because they jumped into marriage at a young age because it was expected of them. It's weird for me because my parent's divorced (so I harbour some resentment towards marriage), but I was still brought up believing it was normal for people to get married at a young age and that marriage was a good things for all its potential faults. So, now I'm in my mid-twenties and all my relationships have failed and I've had to adjust my view of relationships because I've learned that's not how people my age see it anymore, and it isn't going to do me any good to compare myself to my friends and family who did get married in their early twenties. I still have my morals and I want to keep my integrity, so I'm not going to be one of those people who uses social dating for a quick fix (plus, I just can't wrap my mind around the idea of online dating). <br /><br />One piece of advice I did like in the article was where she said relationships just happen, it does not good waiting around for the right time. It kind of relates to her last sentence about how we are always for perfection, we want the person with all the right qualities. It can really effect your self-esteem when someone breaks up with you because you weren't the right one, meaning you didn't have everything, and the feeling is one made worse when they date someone soon after you. Yeah, it sucks. There are too many good things to do in life than to worry about a relationship, but that's just me.Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00677002122823349316noreply@blogger.com