Thursday, June 22, 2017

I Can't Like You?

Back in the ol' blogosphere.  It hasn't been a year filled with blog posts as I'd have hoped.  In this particular post, the content has been an all too common theme throughout the years in my blog.  I could have blogged about other things in the world such as what has been going on in England.  Or I could have I blogged about some of the bullshit that the premier of Saskatchewan Brad Wall has been doing.  But I didn't.  So that's that.

So this common theme has to do with life obviously.  But it has to do with relationships and the dating life.  It's something I am not particularly a fan of.  It's to do with the most recent rejection.  It's something that I've been thinking about lately.  I see this as a double standard.  It's frustrating because I've asked myself the same question multiple times.

Now, before I get into what I've been thinking about lately, I will not mention the name of this person.  That's just a respect thing.  Around the time she rejected me I was told that the only person that can have her is someone that doesn't want her.  Doesn't that seem a little fucked up?  You're never going to date because the person you want doesn't want you?  I've been there and it's hard being friends with someone that you're crushing on because you want more.  Trying to keep things platonic when you have those feelings is hard.

I can't like you because you don't like me like that?  Who are you to tell me that?  I never told her that she can't like someone that doesn't like her like that.  I thought it, yes.  But I never verbalized it.  I never bothered to.  I don't know what her reaction would have been.  I've never brought it up, nor will I.  I'll never know what her reaction would be.  I just don't understand how one could tell someone something like that.  I'm not saying she has to like me in the same way, but don't say something like that to a person.  You've rejected the person.  With saying that, you've added insult to injury.  Don't take my feelings into account or nothing.

Don't get me wrong, she wanted to help me get over her rejecting me.  I was in a bad funk because of it.  It lasted a couple of days.  That doesn't mean I don't have some feelings for her in that way.  A "what the fuck" feeling goes through my mind when I think of what she said from months ago.  You might think "get over it" as it was months ago.  But that doesn't help matters.  It's not the rejection that I am focusing on necessarily.  I think about that from time to time.  It's what she said in terms of her liking someone yet I can't like her like that.

I don't know why I've been thinking about that.  Sometimes I think about things from the past.  But lately this particular thing has been playing over and over in my head.  This would be the same as me saying this to someone.  That would be pretty shitty on my part to say something like that.  I don't know what was going through her mind when she said that.  I'm not going to ask her because it could piss her off.  I don't necessarily want to do that.  Plus she'd also ask why I'd be bringing up something from months ago.

As I stated, as much as it sucks to get rejected, that's not the issue here.  The issue is how she did it and what she said.  It's one of the worst ways I've been rejected.  She told she didn't like me like that.  Fine.  I've been told that before.  It never gets any easier to hear that.  But to say I can't like you as the only guy who can have you is someone who doesn't like you is even worse.  It doesn't make any sense.  It will never make any damn sense.  Ever.

Hopefully these thoughts in my head have made sense.  I don't want to dwell on this, but it's something I've been thinking about this lately.  If she does read this, I hope she realizes what she did was wrong.  That is if she figures out it is about her.