Sunday, July 16, 2006

Top 15 Rules For The Road

If you live in Saskatchewan then you will definently know what I mean. If you have ever vacationed or travelled through Saskatchewan then you might know what I mean. The following is all so true.

I saw this one day at work so I thought to write it down and post it. I am finally getting around to doing the posting part.

Top 15 Rules For The Road:
  1. Turn signals give away your next move. A confident Saskatchewan driver avoids using them.
  2. Under no circumstances should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car infront of you because somebody will fill the space, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
  3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less a chance you have of getting hit.
  4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and and will result in you being rear-ended
  5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork with Manitoba or Montana licence plates. With no insurance, the operater has nothing to lose.
  6. Breaking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous foot massage as the break pedal violently pulsates. For those without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.
  7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the ring. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.
  8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only a suggestion and are not forceable in Saskatchewan during rush hour, especially Ring Road in Regina.
  9. Just because your are in the left lane doing 100, ignore the person behind you coming up at 110.
  10. Always brake or rubberneck when you see an accident or someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.
  11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. Saskatchewan is the home of high-speed slalom driving, thanks to the Department of Public Works, which put pot-holes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.
  12. It is tradition in Saskatchewan to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.
  13. To avoid injury in the of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right away. Wearing a seat belt will only impede our hi-velocity escape from danger.
  14. Remember that the goal of every Saskatchewan driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.
  15. In Saskatchewan, flipping the bird is considered a polite solute. This gesture should always be returned.

Think about it, especially us Saskatchewanians. Use Saskatchewanians know that this list is true.

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