Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Marriage: Is it Antiquated and Archaic?

I was thinking about marriage today for some random reason.  No, not about me getting married.  I was thinking about the idea of marriage.  I was thinking maybe it is an antiquated, archaic, and outdated notion. I thought, "is there any point to marriage?"

Great, you love each other.  But you don't need marriage to love someone or be happy with a significant other.  Lots of times people get marriage and end up falling out of love because they are miserable.  I know an older woman who got divorced because her then husband fell out of love with her.  Lots of times, other reasons like finances are a cause for divorce.  I get it, the financial strain is too much.  But just because you have money doesn't mean you'll be happy in your marriage.  There are a lot of people who don't have a lot of money, but they make their marriage work.

Yes, marriage or not, any type of relationship is hard work.  But if you really can't make a go of it, than should you struggle along lying to yourself that everything is hunky dory?  No.  Don't lie to yourself.  My parents didn't.  They got divorced.  That was best for the situation at that time.

A lot of people say it is their dream to get married.  Great.  That's all fine and well.  But they don't realize how much work it is and end up getting divorced because they truly weren't ready.  That's why I probably won't ever get married.  I'm not ready for it.  That's a big step for anyone at any age.

A guy I used to work with said he doesn't want to get married because all it is is a piece of paper.  That maybe true, but there is more to it than that.  More to it than some people realize.

With the amount of divorce in this world, it can make you question if marriage is worth it regardless of the face you love your significant other.  Nowadays common-law is equal to marriage.  So you don't have to actually get married to be considered married.  That's as far as I will go most likely when it comes to marriage.  Even being common-law is a big step in a relationship.  I know a guy who is a common-law.  Sure he wants to get married someday, but he is happy being common-law until the day come when he gets married.

At this one place I worked, this guys talked about marriage as if it was some big important step  everybody needs to take.  They ask me why I'm not married.  Or they tell me that I should get married.  Even if I wanted to get married, I am not in the position financially to get married.  I got sick of them talking about marriage that I eventually told them that I don't want to get married.

Maybe marriage is an outdated idea. Maybe I'm looking at it all wrong.  Maybe I'm just cynical when it comes to marriage because my parents and a number of my friend's parents got divorced.  I know a number of other people that are divorced.  Maybe that could be why I feel marriage is archaic, antiquated, and outdated.  I don't want to potentially get divorced becuse that could always happen.  Divorce is a scary notion and I don't want that to happen. Not saying it will, but you never know.

It is not just divorce that is a scary reason not to get married.  Like I said, it is being financially secure enough to get married.  It is also being in a position lifewise that I'd feel ready to take the plunge.  But maybe I'm just one of those people that doesn't want to get married.  I'be said it over and over that I don't want to get married.  Maybe I will or maybe I won't.  Right now, it is looking like I won't.

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