Thursday, February 16, 2006

Chuck Norris

I am on a quest to show you that Chuck Norris is a bit overrated and has a bit more hype then necessary. I am not saying that Chuck Norris didn't have his time. I believe he is trying to hold on to something that he once had or he is trying to do that through other people like my friend Matt. I picture him in one of those cheap cowboy western karate movies or Sidekick. Sidekick works for me.

But Chuck Norris did do one cool thing. He was the special enforcer at WWF Survivor Series '94. He superkicked Jeff Jarrett's head off. Click here to view the video clip.

Here is another fact about Chuck Norris that I wouldn't say too loudly:

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Another fact about Norris I wouldn't say too loudly is that he knits sweaters. I'm sorry did I ruin your perseption of what a tough man Norris is? Well... I am not sorry actually.

Here are some fights I made of Chuck Norris battling other martial artists.

Chuck Norris vs. Jacky Chan

Chuck Norris vs. Jet Li- I am actually wanting Chucky to win this one.

Chuck Norris vs. Bruce Lee- The outcome of this fight is awesome. Not so awesome for you Chuck Norris fans.

Chuck Norris vs. Sammo Hung- Samo Hung never had a chance

Chuck Norris vs. Tony Jaa- Check to see if Chucky can beat the Thai Warrior from Ong Bak.

Chuck Norris vs. Jean Claude Van Dam

Chuck Norris vs. Steven Segal

Chuck Norris vs. Steve Blackman- Steve Blackman is a former WWF superstar who is trained in martial arts.

Chuck Norris vs. Rob Van Dam- Rob Van Dam is a current WWE superstar who is trained in karate.

Chuck Norris vs. Ernest Miller- Ernest Miller is a pro wrestler who has trained in karate.

Chuck Norris vs. Billy Blanks- Let's see if Tae Bo can beat Chucky.

Chuck Norris vs. Don "The Dragon" Wilson

Chuck Norris vs. Wesley Snipes

Chuck Norris vs. Matthew Kent
- I am pitting my friend Matt against Chuck Norris. The outcome is more of an upset.

Chuck Norris vs. Brandon Lee

Chuck Norris vs. Lorenzo Lamas

Chuck Norris vs. Tajiri- Tajiri is a Japanese pro wrestler who has a background in martial arts. His kick are also very lethal.

Chuck Norris vs. Erne Reyes, Sr.- Erne Reyes, Sr. is the grandmaster of Tae Kwon Doe and he is basically slaughtered.

Chuck Norris vs. Erne Reyes, Jr.- Erne Reyes, Jr. is a child martial arts star turned kickboxing champion.

Chuck Norris vs. The Three Ninjas (Rocky, Colt, and Tum Tum)
- He dominated this handicap match.

Chuck Norris vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Chuck Norris vs. The Karate Kid

Chuck Norris vs. The Next Karate Kid

Chuck Norris vs. Shredder- He barely won this fight.

Chuck Norris vs. Splinter- Chucky lost to a mutated cartoon rat.

All in all this proves nothing, but Chuck Norris only lost 4 times. I am sure he won't win so easily in a real fight against a lot of these guys. But the fact is Chuck Norris is not as good as he used to be. Granted he could whoop me and all, but I am sure it would take a bit longer to do so in his old age.

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