Well, I emailed Paul Lessard and he did respond to me. He said that I have to wait a year after I finish Covenant Bible College (CBC) before I can apply to be a resident mentor. This makes it very interesting on what to do the next year. I mean I can go back into the workforce and pay off my student loan or I can go to broadcasting college in Saskatoon like I am wanting to do. My original plan was to be a resident mentor. If that didn't work out then I would just go to broadcasting school. I guess I will see where the rest of this year takes me.
Yesterday, we got back from our winter retreat. It was a pretty good time. I mean some people got their emo on as my friend Mark would say. I have to agree that some people got emotional. At the one worship gathering, one of the girls got up and said that three days after Christmas break she found out that her parents were getting divorced. I thought that's unfortunate, but not all marriages work out nowadays. I mean fifty per cent of marriages end in divorce. Anyways, people went and gathered around her and prayed for her. I just looked out of the window and while people were praying. After there was a time where the teachers and the resident mentors went out of the room where worship was happening and were sitting around various parts of where we were staying and people could go and talk and pray with. So I went and talked with Ryan about the feelings that spurred up when Corrina got up talked about her parents getting divorced. I was telling him how nobody was there for me when my parents were getting divorced. I was saying how none of my friends were around to help me. I mean nobody was around. I asked Ryan if that was selfish thing to have wanted support. Ryan it isn't. Then I went outside and talked with Shawn about what I talked with Ryan about. He said that his parents also got divorced and growing up he didn't really have anybody. But he said something that totally said something that made sense. He said that even though he didn't have the kind support he wanted, he had the support and love of God. Even though I didn't realize it at the time, God was my support and my rock. Then Shawn prayed for me. Later that night at around 2:30 I was sitting in the upstairs lounge just looking out the windows and Big Jon came and sat down and talked to me. I told him how I was feeling and it was about the issue of the divorce and the support I never had. He said that it sounded like I was jealous. But that's not it at all. Unless you have parents that have been divorced then you don't truly know what I am going through. Then I went to bed and slept on it.
The next day during our time of solitude, I went outside and walked along a trail and found this spot where there were some benches and I sat down and closed my eyes and I prayed. I didn't saying anything, I just sat there in the silence and beauty of nature and just felt a calmness rush over me. I also took a few pictures. Then later in the day, after lunch I walked for an hour and a half down that same trail. I first went back to that spot where the benches were and sat down for a few minutes before continuing on. I was intending to walk to the river which I did. I also took a few pictures. I kept walking along the trail and I went so far. I could have kept going, but I didn't. I turned back to go back to the camp. As I was walking back I saw a deer bounding through the woods. I didn't get any pictures or anything because it was gone before I knew it. I made to that spot where the benches were and I stood there and just praised God and gave thanks to God in prayer for the beauty of nature that we sometimes take for granted. I was grateful for being able to see some of God's work. We as Christians can't truly comprehend the vastness of God's work. I think in someways that was humbling.
True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.
And in knowing that you know nothing, that makes you the smartest of all.
As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world — that is the myth of the atomic age — as in being able to remake ourselves.