Wanting To Help A Friend

Have you even felt like you want to help someone like a friend? But you can't or they they won't let you? I have this problem right now. I have this friend who is in a situation, something that is not the most desirable. But I've tried to or offered to help her in other ways then by just being there for her. I know that being there for her is important. But I want to be there for her in other ways too. It makes a person feel helpless when you can't or they won't let you more so. I have told her that she is doing what she has to do to make it and have a better life for herself and her son. But sometimes I feel she may not believe it. It breaks my heart as a friend to see her in this way and seemingly in a state of pain. I am reminded of a song I wrote a few years back entitled "Things Will Change" and it seems appropriate here in this instance especially the chorus:

You've got to realize
And not just fantasize
That things will change
You've to take it all in
As you start to begin to realize
That things will change

My friend needs to know that things will change. It is not some fantasy that she has been dreaming up for who knows how long. She is actually trying and she needs to know that in the end it will be all worth it. But again, I'm wanting to help her in more then just an "I'm here to talk" kind of way. I've been subtle sometimes and other times I've been blunt about it. I think being subtle isn't working too well because there have a bunch of times that I've been subtle and she didn't pick up on that I was referring to me. But anyways, it's not such a bad thing to have someone help you. She knows how much I care and I just want to be there for her in more ways then she may know.

More Songs That Show How I Am Feeling

"I'll Be There For You" by Bon Jovi
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"Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera
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This one is for someone special. :)



"I Wanna Know What Love Is" by Foreigner
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"This Ain't A Love Song" by Bon Jovi
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Should Be Sleeping

I should be sleeping considering how much sleep I've gotten and how crappy this past week has been. But here I am awake at 1:23 AM on June 13th awake, but I have been up in less then seven hours for church. So, yeah...

Being In A Funk

I've never been in this type of a funk (you know it as a different word, but that is not the point) before earlier this week. I decided after some thought to break up with my girlfriend Penny of seven months. I was dating her over the Internet. It was going great for a number of months, but she has hardly been in the last few months that it became hard to keep this relationship going. So earlier this week, as I said, I broke up with her. It was a hard decision and it put me in this funk.

So now I've been grateful to a friend for being there for me and talking. She knows who she is! :) Now when I hang out with her I don't feel like I am in this funk. I know why. But this funk comes back when we are not hanging out. Thinking about her and not hanging out just makes this funk worse.

Since I've been in this funk I've been thinking too much, I've not gotten much sleep, I've not eaten a lot, I've been down, I've had mixed emotions, and I've even broken down. This just bites the big one and being around her (she knows who she is) just puts my mind at ease.

So yeah, I guess that is all for now.

Some Songs That Show How I Am Feeling

Here are a few songs that show how I am currently feeling. It's a long story that I don't really want to get into. Some of you know the story. But here you go.

"Count On Me" by Default
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"Take Away My Pain" by Dream Theater
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"Who I Am" by Nick Jonas And The Administration
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"When I See You Smile" by Bad English
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"A Love Song For No One" by John Mayer
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Friends

I am blessed to have friends, but what makes me even more blessed is that I have discovered that one particular person that has become a really good friend. I know that I have friends that I can talk to which I appreciate, but I can just talk about stuff I can't with anybody but her. Yes it's a female. She knows how I feel, but I am wanting to see where being friends go. If by some chance we went further and it didn't work out, then I may lose a really good friend. So I am fine with being friends because she has helped me through some rough patches recently. So I do appreciate that very much.

Was this supposed to happen that I became friends with her? I feel like we could be more sometime in the future, but for right now being friends seems like the right thing to do.

Friends come and friends go, but I have a pretty good feeling that we will be friends for a long, long time.

Goodbye Law and Order, Global Reality

Law & Order is a show that ran for twenty seasons and was spun off numerous times with numerous characters. Now I was never a big fan of show. Although Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and Law & Order: Criminal Intent had a few good episodes. But I do respect that it was able to have longevity while becoming a legendary institution. Law & Order spawned many spin off shows like Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Law & Order: Trial By Jury, Law & Order: UK, among others. Now last week it was announced that Law & Order going off the air and that show has the distinction of being the longest running cop drama. It is seemingly being replaced by Law & Order: Los Angeles. I wonder if it will be received like the other spin offs and have the same level of success. I guess time will tell.

Isn't there already a reality show channel? Well if not, there is now in Canada. The channel is called Global Reality. Global is the equivalent of Fox in Canada just like CTV is the equivalent of CBS, NBC, and CBS and just like CBC is the equivalent of PBS. Majority of reality shows blow and there a lot already, but would this mean that they would produce original reality shows ? Or will show re-runs only? Or will produce original shows and show re-runs? Either way we don't need anymore reality shows except Hells Kitchen, America's Got Talent, Britian's Got Talent, and X Factor. All the rest can go away.