Sunday, December 02, 2007

Married In Church, Divorced In Court

I have thought a lot about this over time and I wonder why people would get married in a church then get divorced in court. I some aspects I get the legal aspect of money, house, vehicles, etc.. But, it doesn't make sense otherwise. Shouldn't you repent for breaking the vow you solemly swore you would uphold? Till death do us part! Then other things like sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, etc. go along with it. But when the going gets tough, it seems as though some people bail out on the one they choose to spend the rest of their life with. There are various reasons for bailing out. But that is neither here nor there and that is not the issue I am bringing forth.

Going back to the issue of "till death do us part," that is something I have set in my mind as upholding if I ever get married. I have made up my mind that I will uphold as best as I can. I have come to the realization that if you say those words, than don't say them just because it is tradition. If you do, than who are you kidding? Marriage is something that should not be entered into lightly. Coming from a divorced family, I know that first hand. I have friends who know that first hand as well. If you are going to get married, than take those words "till death do us part" seriously. Use your grandparents as a guide for example. When they said "till death do us part" they meant it. Nowadays people say because they have to say it. Well, maybe that is a generalization of people. But you get what I am saying.

As I am looking for stats on divorce I come across some that are not surprising. These stats are from DivorceMag.com and are for the United States and Canada. These stats are based on the most recent stats availiable:

Canada:


About 48.5% of the adult population in Canada was married in 2006 (as opposed to single, separated, divorced, widowed or living in common law). This is the first known time in Canadian history that the percentage was under half; according to CanWest News Service, the figure was 50.1% in 2001 and more than 60% during the 1980s.
The number of marriages in the country was 149,236 in 2006 -- down nearly 2,000 from the previous year, but up from 148,585 in 2004.
In 2006, there were 1,629,490 divorced Canadians -- or about 5% of the population. 941,306 (well over half) of the divorcees were female.
As of 2006, there were 1,414,060 single-parent families in Canada -- or approximately 15.9% of all families. Of the lone-parent families, 1,132,290 were headed by the mother. In 1971, the number was approximately 476,300.
There were 70,828 divorces in 2003 -- down from 71,144 in 2000.
More than one-third of marriages in Canada will end in divorce before the thirtieth anniversary.
A recent study from the National Population Health Survey shows that men between the ages of 20 and 64 are six times as likely to suffer from depression if they were divorced or separated, than if they stayed married. For women, the figure is 3.5 times as likely for the divorced or separated.
According to the same NPHS survey, 43% of women who have undergone a marital breakup (divorce or separation) had a substantial decrease in household income, while 15% of separated or divorced men had a financial decline.

About 48.5% of the adult population in Canada was married in 2006 (as opposed to single, separated, divorced, widowed or living in common law). This is the first known time in Canadian history that the percentage was under half; according to CanWest News Service, the figure was 50.1% in 2001 and more than 60% during the 1980s.
The number of marriages in the country was 149,236 in 2006 -- down nearly 2,000 from the previous year, but up from 148,585 in 2004.
In 2006, there were 1,629,490 divorced Canadians -- or about 5% of the population. 941,306 (well over half) of the divorcees were female.
As of 2006, there were 1,414,060 single-parent families in Canada -- or approximately 15.9% of all families. Of the lone-parent families, 1,132,290 were headed by the mother. In 1971, the number was approximately 476,300.
There were 70,828 divorces in 2003 -- down from 71,144 in 2000.
More than one-third of marriages in Canada will end in divorce before the thirtieth anniversary.
A recent study from the National Population Health Survey shows that men between the ages of 20 and 64 are six times as likely to suffer from depression if they were divorced or separated, than if they stayed married. For women, the figure is 3.5 times as likely for the divorced or separated.
According to the same NPHS survey, 43% of women who have undergone a marital breakup (divorce or separation) had a substantial decrease in household income, while 15% of separated or divorced men had a financial decline.

United States:


There were approximately 2,230,000 marriages in 2005 -- down from 2,279,000 the previous year, despite a total population increase of 2.9 million over the same period.
The divorce rate in 2005 (per 1,000 people) was 3.6 -- the lowest rate since 1970, and down from 4.2 in 2000 and from 4.7 in 1990. (The peak was at 5.3 in 1981, according to the Associated Press.)
The marriage rate in 2005 (per 1,000) was 7.5, down from 7.8 the previous year.
In 2004, the state with the highest reported divorce rate was Nevada, at 6.4 (per 1,000). Arkansas was a close second, with a divorce rate of 6.3, followed by Wyoming at 5.3. The District of Columbia had the lowest reported divorce rate, at 1.7, followed by Massachusetts at 2.2 and Pennsylvania at 2.5. (Figures were not complete for California, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Louisiana, or Oklahoma.)
8.1% of coupled households consist of unmarried heterosexual partners, according to The State of Our Unions 2005, a report issued by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University. The same study said that only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents -- the lowest figure in the Western world.
As of 2003, 43.7% of custodial mothers and 56.2% of custodial fathers were either separated or divorced. And in 2002, 7.8 million Americans paid about $40 billion in child and/or spousal support (84% of the payers were male).
Americans tend to get married more between June and October than during the rest of the year. In 2005, August had the most marriages at about 235,000 or a rate of 9.3 per 1,000 people. The previous year, July was the highest month at 246,000, or a rate of 9.9; this doubled the lowest month in 2004, January.

So, do people really take marriage seriously? Read the stats and judge for yourself. If they end up getting divorced, should they get married? Holy matrimony is something that you should not enter into lightly. That's it boogles my mind why non-religious people get married in a church. Sure, there is the tradition factor. But I still am not wrapping my mind why they do it. Either way, they take those vows and not take them to heart if they end up getting married.

If I ever got divorced, then I would most likely never re-marry. I believe that you should be committed to one person. But, never say never. I never thought my mom would get re-married but she did. If I do get married, I hope that that marriage lasts as long as my grandparents. The only way I would think of getting re-married is if my spouse died. It might be an odd way to think, but this way I know I never let myself down by getting a divorce.

If you can make a marriage last, than all the more power to you. If you can't, then you should examine what went wrong. But always try to fix the problems first.. Also would you repent if you got a divorce?

Thanks for reading.

Mr. C.C.

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