Diabetic Diet: A Learning Process

Adjusting to a new diet due to my diabetes is and has been a challenge.  I've had to eat or try things I don't like or normally eat.  I've also been making sure not to eat certain things.  So formed last few weeks it has been limiting.  I know diabetics that can eat certain things that I can't.  Or they can only eat a little bit of it.  I am not at that point yet.  I don't know if I'll ever be there.  Or I might just stay way from those things for good.

Eating less is good, but especially at breakfast and lunch, I feel like I never ate anything.  I feel empty.  Eating something like instant gratification oatmeal for breakfast doesn't leave me feeling satisfied.  I don't need to feel overly full or stuffed.  But I'd like to feel satisfied.  By the time lunch rolls around, I'm hungry.  Or I try not think I'm hungry.  But I eat a small lunch because supper might be bigger than the other meals.  Most times supper is.

Looking at the nutritional content of food has been frustrating because what a person that thinks is good for a diabetic is not.  It gets discouraging because I need some diversity in what I can eat as I need an evening snack so I can take my pills.  For example, I eat certain fruit, cottage cheese, certain crackers, and humus for my evening snack.  The nutritional content also limits the other meals.

Besides nutritional content, things like starch, natural sugar, protein, and wheat based foods I have to monitor and moderate.  Some of my favourite foods like potatoes I can have in moderation.  Something like corn, which is a favourite vegetable of mine, I been staying away from because of the sugar content.  With fruit, I've been having a lot less oranges than when it first started on this diabetic diet.  It might have something to do with the higher natural sugar content.

When it comes to sugar, I only have sugar if my sugar is low.  I can have stuff such as sugar water, juice, a little bit honey straight, a certain amount of pop (haven't drank any pop since becoming
diabetic), or tea with sugar in it.  But for the most part when I have been in range, I have used sweetner like Splenda in my tea.  I have to use it because it is my only option to have some sweetness in my tea.  You may or may not know how I feel about artificial sweeteners like aspartame or sucralose.  One thing I'll always stay away from is Stevia.  If you don't know about Stevia, than you need to know about it.

Even though Stevia is natural as it comes from a plant, it tricks your body into thinking you are getting sugar.  Your body needs sugar.  Health side effects are damage to your heart and kidneys.  For me as a diabetic, Stevia may cause bloods sugar control problems.  That would be a big problem for me.

My aunt said that since she has cut out sugar she has felt better.  I haven't felt any difference.  Maybe I will, maybe I won't.

I snack in the evening so I can take my pills. What I stated above is what I have been eating in the evening for a snack.  I have cut out junk food and beverages like chips, pop, slush, chocolate bars, candies, and other such items.  But those were just an example.  But how fair is it when I have to be in the presence of people who are eating and drinking such things?  Sure my mom has said sorry for eating chips while I am in the room.  That's all fine, but my mom and step dad still eat chips, candies, and chocolate in my presence.  I have just learned to deal with it.

So far up to this point, it has been a learning process.  I will continue to learn because you will never be able to know everything about there is too know about diabetes in terms of what I can and can't eat.  Hopefully I'll be able to get some good information when I go to my appointment with Live Well program at the Royal University Hospital in Saskatoon.

Marriage: Is it Antiquated and Archaic?

I was thinking about marriage today for some random reason.  No, not about me getting married.  I was thinking about the idea of marriage.  I was thinking maybe it is an antiquated, archaic, and outdated notion. I thought, "is there any point to marriage?"

Great, you love each other.  But you don't need marriage to love someone or be happy with a significant other.  Lots of times people get marriage and end up falling out of love because they are miserable.  I know an older woman who got divorced because her then husband fell out of love with her.  Lots of times, other reasons like finances are a cause for divorce.  I get it, the financial strain is too much.  But just because you have money doesn't mean you'll be happy in your marriage.  There are a lot of people who don't have a lot of money, but they make their marriage work.

Yes, marriage or not, any type of relationship is hard work.  But if you really can't make a go of it, than should you struggle along lying to yourself that everything is hunky dory?  No.  Don't lie to yourself.  My parents didn't.  They got divorced.  That was best for the situation at that time.

A lot of people say it is their dream to get married.  Great.  That's all fine and well.  But they don't realize how much work it is and end up getting divorced because they truly weren't ready.  That's why I probably won't ever get married.  I'm not ready for it.  That's a big step for anyone at any age.

A guy I used to work with said he doesn't want to get married because all it is is a piece of paper.  That maybe true, but there is more to it than that.  More to it than some people realize.

With the amount of divorce in this world, it can make you question if marriage is worth it regardless of the face you love your significant other.  Nowadays common-law is equal to marriage.  So you don't have to actually get married to be considered married.  That's as far as I will go most likely when it comes to marriage.  Even being common-law is a big step in a relationship.  I know a guy who is a common-law.  Sure he wants to get married someday, but he is happy being common-law until the day come when he gets married.

At this one place I worked, this guys talked about marriage as if it was some big important step  everybody needs to take.  They ask me why I'm not married.  Or they tell me that I should get married.  Even if I wanted to get married, I am not in the position financially to get married.  I got sick of them talking about marriage that I eventually told them that I don't want to get married.

Maybe marriage is an outdated idea. Maybe I'm looking at it all wrong.  Maybe I'm just cynical when it comes to marriage because my parents and a number of my friend's parents got divorced.  I know a number of other people that are divorced.  Maybe that could be why I feel marriage is archaic, antiquated, and outdated.  I don't want to potentially get divorced becuse that could always happen.  Divorce is a scary notion and I don't want that to happen. Not saying it will, but you never know.

It is not just divorce that is a scary reason not to get married.  Like I said, it is being financially secure enough to get married.  It is also being in a position lifewise that I'd feel ready to take the plunge.  But maybe I'm just one of those people that doesn't want to get married.  I'be said it over and over that I don't want to get married.  Maybe I will or maybe I won't.  Right now, it is looking like I won't.

Why is this Story Newsworthy?

I see stories online or not about things that people go through all the time.  I've questioned many times why this particular story or this person's story is more important to tell than someone else's story.  One story comes to mind that I've questioned.

The Telegraph recently ran a story on their website about an Australian female who has been addicted to porn since she was eight.  This story isn't special at all.  Sure it is unfortunate that she is addicted.  But everyday, people all over the world struggle with addiction to porn.  Their stories are not told.  Is her story somehow more newsworthy than another person's?  If it is, she would have told it without the help of some publication.  This person says she got addicted to porn because of something she saw in a movie.  What she saw in a movie isn't related to porn.  She is making excuses it seems like.

It is good she is getting help for her addiction.  But I want to college with a guy who was addicted to porn.  His story was never ran in any publication.  Does that make his story and addiction any less valid?  No.

What I find messed up about this story is that there is no mention of her parents.  Where were they in all of this?  Her parents not being mentioned seemingly cast them in a bad light.

This is just one example of a story that shouldn't be published over thousands of similar stories.  Not saying her addiction is not valid.  I am saying that her addiction shouldn't be told over others.

Other examples are alcoholics or drug addicts getting their story published.  Thousands of stories about various things are never told in any publication.  That doesn't make their stories any less valid or less important.

I'd honestly like to know why this story or that story gets chosen to be ran over others.  It baffles me why media thinks this story or that story is more important to be ran versus others.  It's shitty media works in this way.

Diabetes: My New Life

Living with diabetes is a something new for me.  It is a process of learning my diet, taking pills, testing myself, and all the rest of the stuff that comes with it.

Looking back, hindsight is 20/20.  I should have listened to my parents and this would have been prevented.  I was stubborn.  What's done is done.  Now I have pun to live with the consequences of my actions.  It is a hard pill to swallow.

Yes, there is diabetes in my extended family.  Sure that was lingering in the back of my mind.  That still didn't make me change.  You might say that I shouldn't beat myself up over this.  But at times it is hard not too.  But now, I'm rolling with the punches and taking this one day at a time.

I've started to make some changes in my life that will go towards make myself better in terms of my overall health.  But there is more to do.  Diabetes is an ongoing lifestyle change.

What I'm asking my friends and family to do is help  make myself better.  Be the support I need.  Help me stick to making better choices in my life.

I do appreciate the positive vibes, prayers, and thoughts during my time in the hospital.  There is a lot to learn when it comes to diabetes.  If you can prevent it for yourself, than do so.  You don't want to feel overwhelmed because during the first week it has been overwhelming.

Take care of yourself.  Godspeed!

Headaches

Everybody gets headaches in their life.  But lately I've been getting these nasty headaches.  Finally I went to a walk-in clinic yesterday evening.  The doctor told me based on what I've told him is that I got muscle tension headaches.  Hopefully taking Advil will cure me of my headaches.  They are brutal and don't wish on even my worst enemy.  I took some Advil a few hours ago.  Let's hope in another few hours I feel better.  I just want these headaches to go away.  Until then I'll just keep taking Advil, drinking lots of fluids, and trying to keep my place cool.


I hope you are doing well.  If not, peace be with you and shalom.  I trust you will get through it.  I hope I get through these headaches.  I don't want to be stuck doing nothing because of these headaches.  Being robbed of a life because of a medical issue is not something I want.  I'll see how Friday goes.  Peace out.

Song of the Day #50 - Nick Jonas & The Administration

Here is the a song which a very deep connection for me.  This is also the song I am doing for my final song of fall karaoke league.  It is one of my favourites.

"Who I Am" by Nick Jonas & The Administration
YouTube link

Being Strong For Others

A friend of mine posted the following the other day on Facebook as a status update.

"When you can't be strong for yourself... at least be strong for the ones that need it the most."

I think that quote doesn't make any sense at all.  It is basically telling someone that your problems are trivial and don't matter.  You should be putting other people and their problems first.  I find that notion to be a crock.  I find that our society, North American for example, that we told to suck it up and be strong.  Mask your problems and put them aside.

Masking your problems and putting them aside is a load of crap.  Doing that can be bad as you might blow up and hurt the people your care about.  Never let those problems and emotions sit there and fester.  You can deal with those problems and emotions while you keep living life.  It is okay to say that you have problems and need help.

Our North American culture has dictated that we should not have problems.  We should not be weak.  That is not the way life works.  Not everybody has their life together.  A lot of people have problems and struggle to live day-to-day.  This idea within North America of "be strong, not weak" is a crock.

Putting up a front is worse than anything.  It shows we have to fake being strong before we should fix or attempt to fix what is wrong with ourselves.  Putting up a front is an antiquated and archaic notion.  If I had to be strong for someone else, I wouldn't necessarily do it.  It would rather be up front and tell them that I have to fix what is wrong with me  I do have things I need to fix with myself.  Everybody does.

You don't need to mask your problems.  You don't need to put a veil over your problems because I wouldn't expect you too.  I'd hope you wouldn't expect me too.

If you are dealing with some issues, peace be with you.  May you find the strength to persevere and move on with your life and away from these problems.

Are People Buying Into the Fear Mongering?

The Paris attacks has dominated headlines, more so than the attacks on Beirut.  That doesn't mean that the motives behind them are different.  ISIS has taken credit for both attacks.  Now that this heightened alert is happening all over the world, not that it is a bad thing, we need to not let these events run our everyday lives.  That's what these militant groups want.  They are want us to be fearful of our everyday lives.  They want use to do our everyday tasks with a certain sense of fear and trepidation.

It is has gotten to the point, whether they believe it or not, that some people are saying that blocking refugees from entering any country could drive them closer to ISIS and other such militant groups.  I don't necessarily believe that.  We need to have some proof that this sort of thing happens.  But on a segment of episode of CBC Radio's "180," Syrian-American political researcher Nader Atassi has said specifically this.  That seems like another case of fear mongering.  Why would they want to join up with a militant group when they want to somewhere better and away from that?  Doesn't make much sense.

It has gotten so out of hand that, Saskatchewan premiere Brad Wall is calling on newly elected Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to suspend fast tracking 25,000 Syrian refugees into Canada by the end of year.  This happening wasn't as big of an issue until the Beirut and Paris attacks happened.  Now people are full of fear and trepidation like something is going to happen.  I'm not saying the Wall is wrong, but he is not totally thinking rationally.  It's gotten to the point that a number of American Republican govenors are blocking Syrian refugees from resettling in their state even if it is only temporary.  One is presidential candidate.  Bobby Jindal can be seen as a hypocrite for not wanting refugees to resettle in Louisiana.  Jindal is of Indian descent as his parents imigrated from India.

It would be interesting to know if Wall and Jindal can prove if any of the refugees pose a real credible threat.  Yesterday on Facebook, the Ecomomist posted the following:

Source: The Economist

If you do the math, you will see that an average of roughly 53,500 refugees per year were resettled in North America. Yet when Prime Minister Trudeau wants to resettle a mere 25,000; we lose our minds. No I'm not saying that fast tracking is the answer. But if those 750,000 did nothing to cause use harm, than what are the odds that these 25,000 will? Sure if you break it down per month, it doesn't come up to that many per million. In the United States is came up to a smaller number per month. Even if you break it down for Canada, it still comes up to a small amount per month.

These mililtant groups want us to live in fear and trepidation. That's why blocking refugees from Syria has become hot topic. I give credit to those premiers (if there are any) and those govenors who will let refugees into their provinces and states. If we give in a close our borders out of fear, than our world will be completely governed by fear and we will be afraid to live our lives. I don't want to live my life in fear and trepidation. I don't think you want to either.

The Attack on Paris

The attack on Paris and other such attacks on places around the world are becoming increasingly common.  I don't know what the motive is behind this.  But what I do know is that France has a high Muslim population.  That is not to say that all the Muslins in France wanted to do the attacks.  It is the radical/extremist Muslims of the world that want to do this.  It is unfortunate that Paris was the target for these attacks.

No matter where you went whether it be out for evening to have a good time, to friends place, to work, stay at home, or online; the tragic events that occured were being talked about.  They are still being talked about.  Rightfully it should be talked about.  It is being talked about to not make people fearful.  Sure there are people who fear it could happen in their own backyards.  Sure that is a scary notion, but we need not let those people who do such things be fear mongers and scare innocent civilians into not wanting to live out their normal day-to-day lives.

When United States President Barack Obama addressed the media one thing he said stood out.  He said:

"This is not an attack on Paris.  This is not an attack France.  This is an attack on humanity."

He was right when he said that.  Stuff like this is happening all over the world all the time.  It is happening in places you wouldn't expect.  Domestic terrorism is an all too real thing.  You don't want to have to admit it to yourself, but it is happening.  People gunning down people in schools can be seen as a form of domestic terrorism.  It is scary.  The people of Paris if not all of France fear for their future.  I get that, but if they find a way to be strong in the face of this, they could be probably find some semblance of normalcy in there lives.  Sure it might take awhile, but I believe it will happen.

Talking to a friend of mine tonight about these attacks and we talked about how not every Muslim is radical or an extremist.  I've worked with Muslims and they wouldn't hurt anybody.  They wouldn't attempt to harm anybody.  They are nice people.  But it's the extremists the give them a bad name.  He also said that he gets messages from people on Facebook from places like India and whatnot because of his YouTube videos and he said they are geniunely nice people.  So don't be like professional wrestling personality Tammy Lynn Sytch formerly known as Sunny in the WWF who said:

"What I think the world needs is another holocaust, but this time for the Islams of the world... The ones who really should be extinguished.  HAIL TRUMP!"

 This was said on her Facebook page.  What a sick thing to want.  You can't blame all Muslims based on the actions of small percentage of people who profess to practice this religion.  Why do people have to be so fucked in the head?

I'll leave you with a status I posted on Facebook (both personal and fanpage), Twitter, Tumblr, and Google Plus.

"The Paris attacks shows how scary this world is. If a developed country such as France is not immune from such attacks, just think it can happen here. Just don't let that stop you from living your life. As scary as it is, life does ultimately go on."

Don't become so fearful that you can't live your life.  You need to keep on keeping on even if it is tough.

Here are some hashtags you can use #PrayforParis #PeaceforParis #JeSuisParis

Peace be with France during this time.

Starbucks "Red Cup Controversy"

By now, I'm sure you've heard about this so-called Starbucks "red cup controversy.  It basically stems from Starbucks going from beautifully printed cups to plain red cups that house our hot beverage of choice.  This controversy has got even United States presidental candidate, Donald Trump has even called for a boycott of Starbucks because of this so-called "controversy."

If you know me, you know I'm not the biggest fan of Starbucks.  Let's be honest, I'm against companies and corporations removing "Merry Christmas" and using "happy holidays" or "seasons greatings" because of the non-Christian consumer.  If you think about it, a lot of the secular and the atheist consumer probably celebrates Christmas.  The closest thing to any Christian references Starbucks gets is a Christmas tree on their cups.  As much as people say they are not Christian, they do put up a Christmas tree which was started by Christians.

Just because are you Starbucks junkie and want your $5 small cappuccino doesn't they have to pander to you because you are Christian.  There is no law saying they have to uphold Christmas in everything they do.  Would the people supporting this boycot really care what was on it if it was more than just a red cup?  If there was snow, lights, santa, an elf, or some thing associated with Christmas on the cup, would there still be this be so-called "controversy?"  After all, red is one of main Christmas colours just like orange is a colour of fall or Halloween.

Is what is on a Starbucks cup really an issue?  Is this "first world problems" really that big of a deal?  We have more pressing issues that need facing, but we'd rather ignore them because what is on a cup of our favourite big chain coffee cup is apparently more important.  It is more important than solving the homeless issue in North America.  It is more important than solving the issue of the working poor.  Being a "first world problem" takes precedence over issues that actually do matter apparently.

When it comes down to it, I don't care.  Neither should you because after the Christmas season, you'll have completely forgotten about so-called "controversy" until it happens again in a years time.  If this is truly an important issue, you wouldn't wait till a certain time of the year to make a big deal out of it.  It shows where our priorities are in our Western society.  We trivialize important matters while we make a big deal over things that are so stupid.  But I doubt the people advocating for the boycott will truely boycott Starbucks.  That in itself makes them a hypocrite.

2015 Federal Election

Last night was an important night in Canadian history.  In fact, it was probably the most important night in Canadian history politics wise.  Canadians went to the polls in the highest turnout in over 20 years.  I went out and did my civic duty and voted.  Even though the one I voted for in my riding didn't get elected, it felt good to put my vote in.


What I have been wondering is the percentages of key demographics are.  Demographics such as first time voters, Native voters, 20-something
voters, senior voters, and immigrant voters.  I guess we might not ever know.

Even though this is my second time voting in a federal election, it feels good to vote.  A couple of friends voted for the first.  One who has never voted and the second probably because she wasn't old enough.  The older friend now has realized that her voice, opinion, and vote did matter.

Regardless of how you voted, you should have went to the polls voting on the issues rather than based on the party or just to get Stephen Harper out of office.  The latter two is just a lazy way to vote.

People are bitching about the result because, even though they wanted Stephen Harper out, they didn't want Justin Trudeau in.  In the 2011 federal election, we had the chance to vote in something different, but didn't.  With the Liberals once again back in power, this isn't the change they wanted.  But it looks like they are willing to Truedeau more of a chance than Tom Mulcair and the NDP because people can't separate the socialism on a provincial and national level.  If it wasn't for socialism, we as Canadians wouldn't have universal healthcare.  Do you really want to spend hundreds or even thousands of dollars on a doctors visit.

People are not willing to give socialism a chance nationally because of how it has done on the provincial level.  In some ways I get that.  But you can't base how well socialism will do nationally based on how it has shit the bed in Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, etc..  For all you know, it might actually work better than you expected.

For now, respect the decision of your fellow Canadians.  In 2019, you'll be able to once again make your vote count.  If you want don't liberals in office once again, make the informed choice and vote for another party.  But if history has taught us anything, we can't vote in any other party aside from Liberal or Conservative.  We are not a two tier party system like the United States.  We have that option to vote for more than just two parties.  We should learn to use it.  But I don't know when we will get it.  Till than, here is to voting Liberal or or Conservative in power.

Kudos John Brown!

A TV show host, by the name of John Brown, on a Fox affiliate WOFL 35 in Orlando, Florida has gone viral over his comments about the Kardashians and Jenners recently.  See the full video below.



I've said I can't stand the Kardashians.  But he actually said it for the world to hear.  When I first saw it it was awesome.  It still is awesome mind you, but he said what a lot of people say and think everyday.  If I was his co-host, I wouldn't keep going with the non-news story.  I would have moved along.  But that ditz of a co-host tried to keep going with the story when her co-host walked off set.  I wouldn't keep going.  "We have to keep going since you mentioned it."  No you don't have to keep going.  You should stop and throw to a commercial or throw to the next piece.

What did the Karsdashians and Jenners do to deserve being obsessed over?  Nothing.  Bruce Jenner was a successful Olympian.  But the rest?  I have no idea what they do.  The rest seem like socialites.  Their every move is documented and shown for the people of the world to see as if it is legit news.  It is sick how much attention they got.  This is just like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie.  They were in the same spot as the Kardashians and the Jenners.  Eventually people got sick of their crap and now they are hardly talked about.

It is sickening how obsessed people are with them.  Her naming a rabbit after her dad is NOT news.  People name pets after someone all-the-time and is it considered newsworthy?  No!  But because she is a Jenner or Kardashian, it is considered news.  What's next, they are going to broadcast that they took a shit?  If you want them to go away, than stop discussing every facet of their lives.  Stations have station managers and news directors.  They need to realize that this shit about a pet is NOT NEWS.

So to you, John Brown, I give you kudos.  I give you all the props in the world for having the balls to walk off set and ranting over the stupidity of having the Kardashians and Jenners shoved in our faces day after day.

Target: Why You No Discounts?

By now you know that Target is closing all 133 of its Canadian outlets thus laying off around 18,000 employees.  The reason for this is because it would take another six years or till the year 2021 for Target to become profitable in Canada.  Now they are supposed to be in their liquidation phase.  Liquidating assets essentially means to sell off all your inventory at a reduced price.  But you'd think that Target Canada would be doing that, right?  Right?  Wrong!

Target has signs in their stores advertising 30 percent off.  Sure that's not a lot.  But with that being expected when Target stores across Canada opened their doors on the first day of liquidation, you'd think that 30 percent would be as shown in the signs.  You'd think...  A complaint people had about their liquidation sale is that stuff was at 10 percent off or even higher than normal price.  Target wonders why they can't turn a profit.  This might be a big reason.  I'm no expert or nothing, but usually you don't jack up your prices during liquidation.

Various news reports have stated a reoccurring theme of no deals.  I like this line from the Ottawa Sun "Target at least kept it consistent: Disappointing Canadian shoppers right to the end."  Target has.  They've had better deals throughout the year which is laughable if you think about it.  Do they not know how to liquidate?  Do they notm know the idea behind liquidating?    If the idea is to rid your stores of merchandise, than you'd sell it at substantially lower price.  Target couldn't even get that right.

If you've ever been to a Target in Canada, you'd know that their stores hardly had any customers, bare/empty shelves, and prices that were higher than their competitors like Walmart.  The big complaint was their prices.  Even during liquidation, they can't get it right.  What Target doesn't tell you is that the price ends up being up more.  According to a CTV Winnipeg news report, that is the case.  They say it's no longer Target's policy, but it's the liquidator's.  Who is the liquidator?  A search on Google yields no information on that.  For the consumer, it would be good to know so they knew where to direct their complaints seeing as Target is trying to avoid all responsibility in this regard.

Target should have thought of a better way to expand into Canada.  A Yahoo Canada video explains five reasons why they failed in Canada.



These five reasons to seem to be right on.  If Target wants to attempt to be in Canada again, which I doubt will happen, than they better think it out or they'll fail even faster.  Good try Target.  Good try.  Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.  Plus it is no wonder Bob Ulrich got canned as Target CEO.  Their venture into Canada under Ulrich was a disaster and you have him to thank.

Song of the Day #49 - Sheppard

Here is another song I discovered on Spotify.  It has become another song obsession.  It comes from the Australian band Sheppard.  It is just so good.  The acoustic version is good, but the full band version is amazing.

"Geronimo" by Sheppard
YouTube link

Song of the Day #48 - Greylag

Here is another song I came across on one of the many folk stations of Spotify.  I'm glad I've discovered this song.  It is song damn catchy.  Curses you Greylag for making such a catchy song.  It is another new song obsession.  It is off their self-titled 2014 release Greylag.  Enjoy.

"Another" by Greylag
YouTube link

Don't Give Someone a Chance, Push Them Away

The Elite Daily has a great article on their site.  It is spot on.  It is about the reasons that we push people away before we give them a chance.  I found this article struck a chord with me because I've had this done to me and I'm sure many other people have too.

It is a real shitty thing to have happen to you or anyone else for that matter.  But this whole "let's end it before it gets really started" should not be catching on.  It shows that you'd rather not want to take the time to invest in someone.  That is why we want the quick date or the ignore response by not texting them back.  It is either one or the other.  It is even worse when you do a quick date, than never text them again.  Are you too scared to actually to talk to them?  Are you afraid to admit you had a good time and actually like them?  *GASP*  But I've been on the receiving end of a non-date.  I've made plans with someone only for them to back out or give me run around.  Total bullshit.  Why do you need to do something like that?  Tell them you are not interested.  Rejection blows and I hate it.  But rather than giving someone the run around, it is better to be honest.  Nowadays, people won't do that.  Or so it seems.


Do people really think that a date with them shouldn't happen because we have others?  If that were true, do you think someone would invest their time in trying to pursue one with them?  Is a person really that daft that they think you have dates lined up all the damn time?  If I could have my pick of females, I would be with the ones I want instead of wading and almost drowning through the endless crap getting nowhere. 

We are in the era of friends with benefits.  Now, I'm not saying this is always a bad thing.  I've wanted one for a number of years now.  Sure it takes the work out of having to be in a relationship.  That might be wrong to not put effort into getting a relationship.  But never being able to try and establish a relationship, I often think I need just a friend with benefits.  If can establish relationships, that would be good too.  But when you hear of someone you have a mad crush on having friends with benefits with someone else can enrage you or leave you feeling jealous.  I was the latter five summers ago.  It was the summer of 2010.  I was jealous because I wanted to be that guy.  I wanted to be that guy because I wanted the relationship.  I wanted this person bad, but it the feelings weren't mutual and I hated it.  My summer was totally ruined because of it and the fact I was in a funk.

I can tell the story of my first time being depressed.  I just never want to go back to that.  I have experienced smaller bouts of depression since than, but that doesn't make it any easier.

The article goes to goes on to say we've been hurt along the way.  This has made us less confident or less "ballsy."  Now, I've never been the most confident when it comes to the ladies.  Maybe it comes back to rejection.  It is the fear of being rejected.  About Health has an article entitled "What is Fear of Rejection."  Upon skimming it, I've recognized things from my past that I can see that are related to a fear of rejection.  Now, I wouldn't go as far as to say that it cripples every aspect of my life.  It is in the relation aspect that the fear rejection is most prevelant.  That fear is big part of why I maybe lack confidence.  Even with that, I at times suck it up and go for it knowing that rejection is a real possibility.

Getting rejected hurts.  The article states that it is easier to push them away and hurt them before they can hurt you.  It's easier to assume that you're destined to get hurt I guess.  Don't start with that "I always end up getting hurt" attitude.  It's piss poor excuse to not get in a relationship.  It is cop out point blank.  I've never been hurt in relationships.  When I have been hurt, it is because of rejection.  Example, when I made plans with someone I liked and she flaked by saying she couldn't go.  I guess it all comes back to the issue of rejection.

It's not for a lack of me trying even with the above stated rejection being reality for me.  But when people try to let me down easy, they say things like "you'll find someone," "I hope you find someone," "be happy," or some other crap that sounds so condescending.  They should really think about what they sounds to the other person before saying it.  Like the old addage goes, "it sounded better in your head."  I get they are offering support, but it fails more than anything.  I also hate when people tell me to lower my standards and or date someone my own age.  I've tried both of those things, but that failed too.  Just because you have someone in your life doesn't mean you are qualified to be giving out relationship advice. This sometimes comes from the people that have specifically rejected me.  Totally condescending.

 Give the article a read, you'll find that you'll identify with a lot of things in it whether you do it or it happens to you.

Song of the Day #47 - Ed Prosek

Before I get into posting other stuff, I want to share this amazing song by an artist I've recently discovered in Ed Prosek.  I discovered him on Spotify.  It's one of two new song obsessions I have.  The full band version is great on the fabulous EP "The Riverbed," but I'm digging the acoustic version much more.  This acoustic version comes from "The Big Comfy Sessions" in England where Prosek resides.  The interview is interesting as well.  Enjoy!

"Home" by Ed Prosek
YouTube link