Friday, September 02, 2005

Tales From The Fish: Vince, Brock, & More

Well, I am back writing another column. I haven't written one in sometime. I go through periods of not writing columns. So I thought I would try and do one regularly. But on this edition of Tales From The Fish I will be talking about a few things. So lets get right to it.

Where do I begin on the first topic? We all know that Vince McMahon has a so-called "big man" fetish. That is why we have seen big men such as Batista, JBL, Undertaker, etc., etc. pushed really well. But what I don't get is how Kane or Big Show are not pushed at all. Instead Kane, for the past few years has been pushed as a main event jobber. It's sad that Kane has been relegated to jobber. When Kane first came into the WWF/WWE, he was a pushed as an unstoppable monster. But Kane could have been so much bigger. But it seems as though the WWE put up a brick wall and said no. We don't want to push you. That makes Vince look bad because we all know how Vince likes to push big men. Kane just need something to get himself out of the this funk as being known as a main event jobber. The last main even match he had was against Batista for the World Heavyweight title on RAW and we all know how that ended.

Now there is Big Show who has gone through many pushes. But now nothing. He hasn't been on RAW in the last couple of weeks. The last thing he did was team with Shelton Benjamin and defeated Chris Masters and Gene Snitsky. Big deal, he beat Snitsky and Masters. Like that will do anything to further his career. It's just he gets pushed hard for a few months, then nothing. If he was pushed decently all the time then there would be no problems. Sure, Big Show may not be the most talented wrestler. But he is the modern day Andre The Giant. So why not push him as the so. Instead we have the WWE giving pushes to the likes of Masters on RAW and JBL on Smackdown.

If Vince knew how to use the big men to their fullest then we wouldn't see Kane as a main event jobber. We also wouldn't see Big Show being pushed when someone is needed. Big Show and Kane are both deserving of pushes in my opinion.
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Now it seems as the rumors of Brock Lesnar returning to the WWE have died down. As you may or may not know, Brock Lesnar was supposedly in contract talks with the WWE to return. But a couple of week ago the contract talks have died down. Some people may think that this all just a work. I for one don't think that this is a work. The term work has become overused in my opinion due to the Matt Hard/Edge/Lita situation and the Chris Jericho/WWE situation. So I for hope this is real. But there are reasons that I don't want Brock Lesnar to return.

For one thing, the last time Brock was in the WWE, he went through the entire roster. I for one think that was stupid. He didn't deserve to go through the entire roster like there is no tomorrow. Sure he may have some talent but that doesn't mean that gives him the right to go through the entire roster. Even Kurt Angle didn't go through the roster. Sure Kurt Angle was pushed hard his first year in the WWE but he at least didn't go through the entire roster like Brock.

Another thing is that Brock Lesnar was too green and immature for his push. That didn't help him at all. You can have all the talent in the world but if you are green then it is not going to help you one bit. I for one would have built him up and let him mature before giving him this massive push. Being green and getting a huge is not always a good thing.

Next point I am going to make is that Brock Lesnar left the WWE to go fullfill some dream he head. That was wanting to play football in the NFL. I can't respect him for wanting to achieve his dream. But he did it for the wrong reasons. He left the WWE because he doesn't want to travel. Well, in the NFL you do travel. That makes Lesnar a hypocrite for not wanting to travel with the WWE but he will travel while being in the NFL. Also Brock Lesnar left the WWE because he didn't like his character. Well, life isn't always fair. Brock needs to pick up his balls and move on. Brock couldn't even make it in the NFL. He couldn't even make second string or even the practice squad. That's how big of a lamer Lesnar is. He basically sold out to achieve a dream. He only made it that far in the NFL because of who he is. I don't respect that.

All in all bringing Brock Lesnar back would be a bad idea. Sure people say that the WWE needs someone. But look, the WWE has enough guys getting pushed aside for the likes of JBL on Smackdown and Masters on RAW. Bringing back Brock Lesnar would only make it worse.
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The final topic on this edition of Tales From The Fish is Hulk Hogan. No I am not going to praise the ever loving shit out of him. I am going to do the opposite. I am going to tell you what is wrong with him.

First off, I shouldn't have to tell you that he is slow in the ring. Just look at him in his match against Shawn Michaels at SummerSlam. Hogan was slow when he was whipped off the ropes. Anybody could tell you that. It didn't take a brain surgeon to figure that one out. I am mean sure you may still have the heart to be in this business but that doesn't mean he should be wrestling. It would be so bad if Hogan was a manager or something. He would still get massive pops, but we wouldn't have to sit through another boring Hogan match.

The next I thing I can't stand is Hogan not wanting to lay down for someone. The most infamous incident of this is the Finger Poke Of Doom where Kevin Nash over sold the move and laid down for Hogan. What does Hogan have against losing to someone. Just because he rose to such heights doesn't mean shit in my books. The most recent is that Hogan never layed down for Shawn Michaels. But the thing about it is that Hogan would lay down for The Rock and Ultimate Warrior. Just because he is the biggest superstar in the history of wrestling doesn't make him excempt from losing a match.

Now I have a problem with his leg drop. He has been using the leg drop as his finishing move for over twenty years. I mean it has lacked credibility for well over ten years. Think about it, when the Big Show does a leg drop, people kick out. But when it comes to Hogan people have to let Hogan pin them. I could very easily kick out of Hogan's crappy leg drop. I bet he doesn't even come down with full force. His leg drop has become more pathetic looking over the years. He could have came up with a different finishing move ten to fifteen years ago. You can only the leg drop for so long before it doesn't look as effective. Although I will admit that Hogan is at a point in his career where he doesn't need to cange his finishing move.

Yes I will admit that as a kid, I was a Hogan. But that is no the case any longer. I am now sick of seeing Hogan try to hang onto any last shred of his career he has.

That will do it for me and this edition of Tales From The Fish. Remember to learn it, use it, and never forget it. Thanks for reading and see you on the flipside.

Mr. C.C.
fishhead2100@aim.com

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